The Chatroom
by ayden2408
Summary: chats between the Cullens, Bella and Jake they are hilarouis and they are written by me and my best friend glittercups69 hope you have as much fun reading them as we have writing them mostly Emmett though We will update every 10 reviews
1. Chapter 1

Chat: Cullen style

Bella has signed on

Bella: Hey Jasper! What are you doing on?

Jasper: I'm so alone Alice is nowhere to be found and Emmett's gone nuts.

Emmett has signed on

Emmett: Hey! Guys! Have you seen Alice?

Bella: No…Why did she do something wrong?

Emmett: No she is supposed to be getting my supplies!

Bella: Supplies? Do I want to know?

Jasper: YOU"LL GET YOUR SUPPLIES! NO SHUT UP!...

Emmett: Geez…Jasper

Edward has signed on

Edward: Hey Bella! What are you doing love?

Bella: Hey Eddie! Why does Emmett need supplies?

Emmett: HEY! Why does she get to call you Eddie? I thought you don't allow people to call you that! Last time I did that you spray painted my jeep PINK!

Jasper: That was definitely funny…

Edward: Did you learn your lesson Emmett? And Bella dear please don't call me that its like calling you Isabella and you hate that …right?

Bella: Ok Edward I'm sorry I didn't know.

Emmett: Yes I learned my lesson… Never go near Edward when he's on his period.

Edward: Emmett…watch what you say or I'll tell Bella your obsession.

Emmett: Over my dead ass! You tell her and I'll picture her naked for a week

Bella: Um… Guys I'm right here.

Edward: The hell you will! You do that and I'll tell Rosalie what you're thinking about and you won't be able to get even a kiss from her.

Emmett: Ok I'll shut my mouth.

Bella: …

Edward: And by the way Bella to answer your question…Emmett has on obsession with Hannah Montana

Emmett: EDWARD! You said you were NOT going to tell her!

Bella: Hannah Montana?

Edward: Yes love… He has the outfits, cups, blankets, wigs; yes the wigs; And he even bought a bed set for that bed I got for you but I made him put it in the attic.

Bella: wow seriously?

Edward: Yes.. He's hidden it well but when I find it… I'm burning it.

Emmett: And that will be the day when I burn your Britney Spears cd.

Jasper: Oh don't so mellow dramatic Emmett!

Bella: What! Britney Spears? Edward?

Emmett: you know what I'm signing out! Good bye.

Emmett has signed off.

Jasper: Oh god here he comes bye guys!

Bella: BYE!

Jasper has signed off

Edward: I'll see you in five seconds… hi jasper!

Bella: SOOOOO…Edward? Want to come over?

Edward: Of course love.

Edward has signed off  
Bella has signed off

[A/N: So what did you think… R/R And thanks Glittercups for all the help!]


	2. Chapter 2

**Emmett E-mails Bella**

**[A/N]: Ok so Emmett had a computer and he named it george… Rosalie killed it because he wasn't touching her so she killed it**

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen **Sent:** Friday, April 3, 2009 12:37:12 PM**Subject:**

You stink lol MWAHAHAHAHAHAH I have an e-mail adress now! I can hack people

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Friday, April 3, 2009 12:38:34 PM**Subject:** Re:

hows george

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Friday, April 3, 2009 12:42:09 PM**Subject:** Re:

George broke... =,(

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Friday, April 3, 2009 12:45:20 PM**Subject:** Re:

awww poor george what did you name your new cyber lover

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Friday, April 3, 2009 12:47:32 PM**Subject:** Re:

George Jr. =D he looks just like his daddy

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Friday, April 3, 2009 12:49:13 PM**Subject:** Re:

whos the mommy

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Friday, April 3, 2009 12:50:55 PM**Subject:** Re:

Doesn't have one...I bought him on the internet! =D

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Friday, April 3, 2009 12:53:52 PM**Subject:** Re:

You know the Black market is illegal

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Friday, April 3, 2009 12:54:40 PM**Subject:** Re:

But...But... i bought him at .... How is that illegal?

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Monday, April 6, 2009 12:06:26 PM**Subject:** Re:

because you used candy land money

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Monday, April 6, 2009 12:15:11 PM**Subject:** Re:

I didn't use cany land money it was monopoly and afterwards Carlisle gave me real money...

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Monday, April 6, 2009 12:18:32 PM**Subject:** Re:

why dont you go earn your own money you could prob make a pretty penny off all of your "dancing skills"

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Monday, April 6, 2009 12:21:33 PM**Subject:** Re:

Your so mean! what did I ever do to you? I let you win in the arm wrestling contest after you turn and then you make fun of my ability to make money? I have more money than you and has Edward told you?

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Monday, April 6, 2009 12:30:37 PM**Subject:** Re:

you didnt let me win bc if you would have let me win you wouldnt have cried afterwards and you dont have andy money unless you get it from Rosalie or Carlisle tell me who bought your car

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Monday, April 6, 2009 12:39:17 PM**Subject:** Re:

I did! I sued the guy who's bear attacked me! It was YOGI!

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Monday, April 6, 2009 12:42:58 PM**Subject:** Re:

one question How does a dead guy win a lawsiut?

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Monday, April 6, 2009 12:47:03 PM**Subject:** Re:

I told them i was attacked but not killed...I was saved by a tree

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Monday, April 6, 2009 12:52:57 PM**Subject:** Re:

so how did the exam part go so the could asses your injuries

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Monday, April 6, 2009 12:54:47 PM**Subject:** Re:

Carlisle helped me... =D

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Monday, April 6, 2009 9:23:41 PM**Subject:** Re:

yeah so how did that prostate exam go

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Tuesday, April 7, 2009 12:02:35 PM**Subject:** Re:

My daddy helped me and we both hated the touching!

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Tuesday, April 7, 2009 12:05:37 PM**Subject:** Re:

are you sure come on we all know you have special litlle fantasies about carlisle

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Tuesday, April 7, 2009 12:07:26 PM**Subject:** Re:

WHO TOLD YOU THAT LIE! YOUR STUPID MIND-READING HUSBAND?!?!?!?!?1

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Tuesday, April 7, 2009 12:10:34 PM**Subject:** Re:

at least i cant get something out of him the only thing you get out of rosalie is slapped i get magical pixie dust

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Tuesday, April 7, 2009 12:21:13 PM**Subject:** Re:

Alice gives me glitter does that count

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Tuesday, April 7, 2009 12:29:08 PM**Subject:** Re:

and were does the glitter come from i will give you a hint not from the store

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Tuesday, April 7, 2009 12:39:15 PM**Subject:** Re:

O.e Alice told me she bought it from the store WHAT are you talking about?!?!?!?1

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Tuesday, April 7, 2009 12:48:10 PM**Subject:** Re:

It came from jasper why do think she is always covered in it

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Tuesday, April 7, 2009 12:51:17 PM**Subject:** Re:

0.e I thought... Wait...What are you trying to say Bella?

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Wednesday, April 8, 2009 12:07:37 PM**Subject:** Re:

that you have been using jasper 'special pixie dust' to decorate with

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Wednesday, April 8, 2009 12:13:29 PM**Subject:** Re:

I did not know we can do that!!!!!! And ew! I'm telling Edward on you! how do you know about "jasper's special pixie dust?"

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Wednesday, April 8, 2009 12:16:39 PM**Subject:** Re:

because jasper thinks some interesting things and its really easy to get things out of edward and if you tell him i will tell rosalie were you are hiding your collection that you were supposed to get rid of

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover **Sent:** Wednesday, April 8, 2009 12:19:11 PM**Subject:** Re:

Thats what you think and your stupid husband burned my collection....poor miley...

__________________________________________________________________

**From:** Bella Cullen leechlover **To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_**Sent:** Wednesday, April 8, 2009 12:16:39 PM**Subject:** Re:

he didnt burn it he just moved it i told him that if he burned it he wouldnt be touching me for a century


	3. Chapter 3

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_emmettyahoo...com  
**Sent:** Friday, April 17, 2009 12:06:45 PM  
**Subject:**

Hello Emmett guess what

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Friday, April 17, 2009 12:17:03 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

Bella? I thought You were mad to find out that Edward really did burn my collection without telling you...so you were not talking to me...

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Friday, April 17, 2009 12:29:35 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

Well this isn't technically talking and I am so mad at Edward I am not going to talk to him for a.......another........century I can't believe him I blame you! You are a very bad influence on him!

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Friday, April 17, 2009 12:35:01 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

WHAT?! What did I do? He burned my collection! He just got mad cause I was good at hide and seal and found it. So he burned it! And have you not denied him everything for a while? I swear the poor boy is a virgin again! And his poor Volvo did you have to wreck it? How mad are you at him?

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Friday, April 17, 2009 12:42:49 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

you are always acting like a child I swear sometimes I cant tell the difference between you and renesmee and he disserves what he is getting I mean did you know that he hasn't done anything but mope around since she was born so the whole no action in the bedroom is his fault and at least I didn't wreck his Austin martin and I am so mad at him that I think I am switching teams TEAM JACOB

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Friday, April 17, 2009 12:49:03 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

You LIE! Edward tries hard not to gloat about you guys in bed every single day! He thinks he can get to me...But what he didn't know is that....I've been having sex in his Austin Martin! MWAHAHAHAH! I mean No you should not switch to Jacob. You know why? Because your own daughter would disown you!!!!!

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Friday, April 17, 2009 12:53:53 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

oh he knows and we have been having a little fun our selves on you com desk were George sits

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Friday, April 17, 2009 1:24:14 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

George Jr. AND NOOOOOOOOOOO NOT George Jr.'s desk! I made it just for him! You are so wrong!

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Friday, April 17, 2009 7:01:15 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

sorry things happen and it was fun more fun than what we did in the jeep after he caught you looking at bad pictures on the com of women that were not Rose inside the Volvo

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Monday, April 20, 2009 12:12:32 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

NOT TRUE! Where do you get such LIES! Wrestling women don't count as women....in bikini looking outfit.... THEY DON'T COUNT!

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Monday, April 20, 2009 12:21:38 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

Hey Emmett you know I love you right I like dogs oh oh oh and toasters they are so interesting I just can watch it pop all day did you know that the sky is blue why is the sky blue and why did the munchkins give there baby to Esme Alice is fun she gave me sugar ahhhhhhhhhhhh.............. fun Edward is trying to get my sugar help Emmett I have to hide sugar plum away

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Monday, April 20, 2009 12:26:40 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

Who is sugar plum? And why did they give you sugar? Are you sure that Alice didn't give you a red bull?

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Monday, April 20, 2009 12:33:01 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

why would a bull be red and better yet y would I want one how do they make circles because you cant use so two lines and Alice wants me to make a circle why do they call it A1 I mean A and 1 don't go together did you know that Edward has rock friends by you guys refused to play with him how do vampires make those things stand up

I mean they don't have blood so how do they do it maybe they use glue I am so going to try that

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Monday, April 20, 2009 12:35:49 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

MAKE WHAT STAND UP!!!!!!

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Monday, April 20, 2009 12:40:10 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

The one eyed trouser snake you know that thing that lives in Eddie boys pants that concept has always scared me I think about it a snake that lives in your pants that has sharp teeth shhhhhhh...... I am hiding I have a 5lb bag of sugar and Edward cant find me

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Monday, April 20, 2009 12:46:44 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

Wait....Why are you talking about his peeny-weinie? And where is George Jr.? Why are you in my closet?! You're scaring me

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Monday, April 20, 2009 12:50:55 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

because its pretty I am going to name him fluffy and get him a pretty pink bow with sparkles because he needs some bling bling did you know that you have sparkly thongs in here are they for you or rose and there is a rather large school girl outfit that wouldn't fit rose in a million years

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Monday, April 20, 2009 12:54:30 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

Bella you're spelling everything weird. And those things are um...Rosalie's and that school girl outfit is Carlisle I'm just holding onto it...for um him...

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Monday, April 20, 2009 1:18:36 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

ummmm there is no way that this outfit is Carlisle because and the top of the sweater it says "Rosalie's Bitch" and that is you so maybe you should just admit that you are a cross dresser and btw me I thought you said that Edward burned all you Hannah Montana stuff because if he did then why do you have blond wig in here and don't try to tell me its Rosalie's because she already has blond hair

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Tuesday, April 21, 2009 12:06:39 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

Uh they are not Hannah Montana I swear NOW get out of my closet!!!!!!! NOW or I'll tell Edward what you did to Jasper

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Tuesday, April 21, 2009 12:14:34 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

What did I do to jasper? Loading loading loading.....loading loading loading just keep loading Raw hide

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Tuesday, April 21, 2009 12:26:06 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

You sprayed him with you're smelly perfume... And raw hide?

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Tuesday, April 21, 2009 12:42:23 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

no I didn't spray him I don't even wear perfume next time you threaten someone know the facts

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Wednesday, April 22, 2009 12:08:24 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

WHAT EVER!

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Thursday, April 23, 2009 12:21:00 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

Emmett are you on drugs

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Thursday, April 23, 2009 12:25:50 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

The question is are you on drugs Bella?

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Thursday, April 23, 2009 12:37:46 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

No I am on sugar which is not a drug because it is legal mwahhahahahahah! and I seem to have a blond wig that belongs to a certain someone I think I am going to take hostage

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Thursday, April 23, 2009 12:44:15 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

NO! NO! And sugar is illegal only to you.

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Thursday, April 23, 2009 2:05:15 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

No no no no I need SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love me some sugar

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Friday, April 24, 2009 12:18:27 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

Bella you need help.

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Wednesday, April 29, 2009 12:25:06 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

No correction I need that prude boyfriend of mine to give it up already. And quit calling him my husband! He has to get rid of his virginity before he can call himself that!

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Wednesday, April 29, 2009 12:34:44 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

Are you saying that you're not going to marry him? That would make his angsty heart break! And are you calling yourself a stripper? You know what Eddy boy would have to say about that.

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Tuesday, May 5, 2009 12:08:46 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

bean bag

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Wednesday, May 6, 2009 11:41:45 AM  
**Subject:** Re:

Hey...Bella? What's in a bean bag?

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Wednesday, May 6, 2009 11:59:05 AM  
**Subject:** Re:

dude do you know what concept scares me the one eyed trouser snake I mean think about it a snake that lives in you pants that has one eye and really really sharp teeth

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Wednesday, May 6, 2009 12:08:27 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

Did you ever think about Edwards one eyed trouser snake? Like that?

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Thursday, May 7, 2009 12:18:26 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

No I think of it as a kitty named fluffy meow!

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Thursday, May 7, 2009 12:20:23 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

Bella you are an odd ball...Now...GET OUT OF MY CLOSET!

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Thursday, May 7, 2009 12:37:30 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

I'm odd ball I don't want to be odd ball I want spots yes I found a black permanent marker no more odd ball for me

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen leechlover4evayahoo...com  
**Sent:** Thursday, May 7, 2009 12:41:59 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

BELLA OUT OF MY CLOSET NOW!

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Thursday, May 7, 2009 12:48:18 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

I got spots and I AM NOT IN YOUR CLOSET

**From:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**To:** Bella Cullen  
**Sent:** Friday, May 8, 2009 11:00:12 AM  
**Subject:** Re:

Wait then if you're not in my closet how did you exit my room without my knowledge?

**From:** Bella Cullen  
**To:** Emmett Cullen hi_im_  
**Sent:** Thursday, May 7, 2009 12:48:18 PM  
**Subject:** Re:

First of all I have no clue what a knowledge is and second I took the tunnels under the cardboard cut out of Brad Pitt they lead to jaspers room Emmett why do you have tunnels that lead to jaspers room


End file.
